When I said God’s word for me this Lent is humility I wasn’t kidding or thinking in the abstract.
Saturday morning Scott and I were in the car talking while waiting at a four-way stop. I don’t remember the details of the conversation but Scott was about to tell me something I really didn’t want to hear. It was nothing big, no life or marriage altering announcement, just something I’d done that was bothering him. Instantly, instinctively protecting my pride, I cut him off…
Me: I know
Scott: You didn’t even let me finish what I was saying.
[True, but I knew where he was going with this conversation and I wanted to let him know that I already knew.]
Me: I know, Scott. I know.
Scott: When you cut me off like that and won’t let me explain what it is you’ve done and what I’m thinking, that drives me crazy…
Me: [Cutting him off again] I know, I know, I know.
Scott: Do you realize this is what Claire does when we’re trying to explain something or correct her? She interrupts and won’t listen.
[Cringing, I flashback to Wednesday when I was trying to explain to Claire why something she’d done to her sister was wrong and she kept interrupting saying I know Mom, I know. In her pride she didn’t want to be corrected and told what she was doing that was wrong. That lead to a conversation about how she needs to listen even when she thinks she already knows what she’s done wrong and what we’re going to say. ]
Me:[Long pause]…I do that a lot. I’m certain that’s where Claire gets it. I’m sorry.
Scott: [Nodding and accepting my apology he graciously lightens the tone of our conversation with his humor…] Finally, one bad habit they have that can’t be blamed on me!
Nope, this one is all on me. And more than I wanted to admit at the time.
As we drove through the four-way stop God brought to my mind a time when I was 14 and my sister Meg and I were stopped at a light (coincidently only two blocks away). She was trying to tell me something my prideful heart didn’t want to hear. I did the same thing to her that I did to Scott. Like the good big sister she was, she put me in my place for it. Clearly I didn’t learn my lesson.
Later I asked God…
Have I really been doing this for all these years? Am I that prideful, that slow to learn? Did I really pass this habitual response on to Claire?
I don’t think I need to tell you God’s answers. Ouch!
It’s week two and God isn’t letting me get away with much. I think this is going to be a long Lent.