The past couple of days have been a little tough. I have this longing in my heart. It’s a desire that will probably never be fulfilled. Circumstances and events of the past week have reminded me of this longing. Slowly, the dull ache in my heart has become a sharp pain.
There’s so much in life for which I have to be grateful and I am. But this one thing, this one longing, it cuts to the core of my heart. It cuts to the core of my being and my vocation in life. It pushes me to my knees where I can do nothing but cry out, ask for, and then, finally surrender.
Deep in my heart my greatest desire is for God’s will; for only that which will be good for my sanctification and salvation. Deep in my spirit I want what God knows I need in order to be holy; what I need in order to love Him and my neighbor as myself, for that is true holiness. “Thy will be done.” This is what I pray for each day.
And yet, I still have this longing…