I spent this past weekend serving on a women’s retreat. This retreat is patterned after Cursillo which is a Catholic retreat started in Spain more than fifty years ago. I went through this retreat 10 years ago and I’ve served on at least 15 weekends since then. Although patterned after a Catholic retreat and technically “ecumenical,” it’s primarily a Protestant movement and the team members putting on the retreat as well as the participants going through the weekend are primarily made up of Protestants. There aren’t a lot of Catholics who serve; usually I’m the token Catholic in my community.  This weekend I served in another community and there were three Catholics on the weekend. It turns out we are all converts to the faith. One of these ladies was just joined the church last Easter. 

We spent some time talking and she shared she’s still finding her place in her parish and feeling like she don’t really fit in the Catholic world or the Protestant world. How well I remember that feeling. Then she said, ” At church I feel like I talk with a Protestant accent and I have to stop and ask myself, ok – how do I say this in Catholic speak.”  As she spoke I realized this really describes the reason many Catholics and Protestants have trouble communicating.  Of course there are some real differences in our theology and those can’t and shouldn’t be easily dismissed. But even with those differences Protestants and Catholics share many of the same foundational truths and beliefs. The difference is often found in the way in which we talk about those beliefs. Often we’re saying the same thing but using different words or as my new friend put it we’ve got an accent that makes it hard for the other group to understand.

It’s been seven years since I became Catholic and I think I’ve found my Catholic accent but I admit sometimes I still have to stop myself and translate my thoughts when I’m talking with people at my parish (this will be especially true after having spent the weekend with my Protestant friends).  Phrases like “praise and worship” and “the Lord has been showing me in my quiet time…” and “when I became a Christian…”  just aren’t heard in most Catholic circles. It’s not that we Catholics don’t praise and worship God or spend ‘quiet time’ with God in His Word, or that we don’t mark significant times of conversion in our lives. We do all of these. We  just don’t talk about them in the same way.

Interestingly, while on this retreat there is a talk given on the Sacraments. One of the Spiritual Directors for the retreat gives the talk and honestly it’s a tough one to give. Imagine trying to talk about the sacraments celebrated by Christians when you have almost every main-line denomination represented and nurmerous inter-denominational groups there as well. So many differences. After this talk I found myself being asked questions about Catholic beliefs and having to translate between the two languages.  Using my best Protestant accent I managed to explain what Catholics believe and how it relates to some of their beliefs. There seemed to be some mutual understanding or true ecumenism as a result.  

Each time I serve on these retreats I realize how grateful I am for my Protestant upbringing.  I’m grateful for how my youth pastor and my mom taught me to love the written word of God and how I learned to worship God through the use of music and extemporaneous prayer. These are gifts that make my faith journey as a Catholic richer. I think most converts like me would say the same thing.  At the end of the conversation with this new convert and friend I realized speaking with both accents is not a bad thing. Instead I see it as a gift. It’s a gift that allows me to help others overcome some of the misunderstandings and divisions that exist between Catholics and Protestants. And in my little hybrid Christian world that is a very good thing.

I’ve noticed an interesting difference between my girls. Claire is an encourager. When Ella is attempting to do something, Claire cheers her on.  And if Ella happens to be better at doing something than Claire, well, Claire still encourages her and praises her. This happens a lot when it comes to certain physical activities. Ella is naturally more athletic. Surprisingly, I can’t recall a time when Claire ever seemed jealous of her sister when she was able to do something and Claire couldn’t. I like this quality in Claire and I hope she never changes.

Ella, on the other hand, has a hard time when she can’t perform as well as someone else.  Usually her reaction includes these words,  “I can’t…I don’t…I’ll never be able…Why is she better?…I don’t have…I’m not smart enough…”  Honestly, it can be a frustrating thing to deal with. Of course when appropriate we try to use these as “teaching moments, ” teaching her about being grateful for what she can do, to be content with the natural abilities God has given her… etc. Of course, there’s only so much you can do to reason with a five year old so I’m hoping that with age she outgrows this. However, something I read in that Holy Abandonment book reminded me it’s not necessarily something we outgrow with age. It seems that often God has to reason with us grown ups and remind us of these very same truths as we navigate different passages of life.

The text I read is long but  it’s worth sharing the whole thing. You can tell by the language and style that it was written a while ago but it’s still a lesson for all ages and all times.

We should all be content with the gifts and talents wherewith Providence has endowed us, and no one should ever permit himself to complain of the fact that he has not received as much intelligence or skill as another, or that his strength hs been impaired by over-work, years or illness…because even the most gifted have always some defects which oblige them to practice resignation and humility…

In this matter, just as in everything else, we are bound to conform ourselves to the will of God, to be satisfied with the talents which He has given us, and with the conditions in which He has placed us. Therefore we should not wish to be wiser, more skillful, or held in higher esteem than is in accordance with His good-pleasure. If we are not so liberally endowed as some others, if we have some natural defect of body or mind, an unprepossessing exterior, or disabled limb, poor health, a treacherous memory, a slow intelligence, a weak judgment…we must not complain or murmur…nor must we envy those endowed with the qualities we lack. A person would show very bad taste by taking offense because the present given him as a pure favor was not as rich or as beautiful as he would have liked. Was God obliged to give us a more brilliant mind or a better body? Could He have not created us in a condition less favorable still…Have we merited as much as He has bestowed upon us? No, it is a pure largess of His bounty to which we are immensely indebted. Who would complain of a gratiuity he has received? Let us, then, suppress this miserable pride which would make us ingrates, and humbly thank the Lord for the gifts He has been pleased to grant us.

In the distribution of natural talents God is not obliged to respect our facllacious principles of equality. Under no obligation to anyone, He remains absolute Master of His benefits. He is guilty of no injustice when he gives more to some and less to others.  His wisdom directs Him to bestow on each as much as is required fro the charge He will to entrust to him. The artisan makes his instruments of the size, weight, and form best suited for the work in which he means to employ them. In the same manner, God gives us our different minds and talents according to the service He has designed for us and the degree of glory He intends to derive therefrom…Above all else, He seeks the good of our souls, or rather His one exclusive object is to procure His own glory by our sanctification. And like Him, we, too, ought to see in all His gifts, natural and supernatural, only the means to glorify the Giver by sanctifying ourselves.

Rt. Rev. Dom Vitalis Lehodey, Holy Abandonment, pp. 191-193

“Vita communis est mea maxima penitentia.”

St. John Berchmans

Translation: Life in community is my greatest penance.

I laughed out loud when I read this quote. I’ve been known to say that if I didn’t have to deal with people I would be a really holy Christian (that should give you some insight into the depth of my self-love and pride). You know, that whole love your neighbor as yourself  thing can sure be a stumbling block to living the Gospel message. Oh yeah, that is the Gospel message isn’t it?

James Martin says that upon hearing this quote one of his Jesuit brothers aptly responded by saying, ” Well I wonder what the community thought of him. “

In light of my flesh, I’m not sure I’d want to know what the community thinks of me. Perhaps St. John Berchmans didn’t either. 

A while ago one of my friends suggested I keep a list on my blog of what I’m reading, have read, love to read etc…

I put a text box in the margin that inlcudes some of those books. If you’re looking for a book to read and you have a question about something I listed feel free to ask.

*Note: That Holy Abandonment book is really getting on my nerves. I’m not sure how much longer my flesh can stand it so consider yourself forewarned.

A few of you have noticed and asked about the password protection on some of my posts. Some strange web search inquiries were showing up on my blog stats and I just got a creepy feeling about the word choices and intent behind those searches. I’ve decided that family photos, especially those including my girls and precious nieces, will now require a password to see. If you’re a family member, friend or blog friend and I haven’t sent you the password just let me know and I’ll get it to you. A reminder for all my mom friends, if you get a creepy feeling about anything regarding the safety of your kids, always go with your gut. God gave us that intuition for a reason.

As we start another year of home schooling I find myself both grateful and humbled. I’m grateful that I can stay home with my girls and not have to work outside the home to earn a second income in order to survive. I know that not every mom who would like to stay home has that option. But, I’m also humbled by this choice. When I say humbled I mean my flesh is truly put in its place as I die to my selfish ambition and fleshly tendency to turn this temporal life into an idol.  Staying home, teaching and raising my girls, is part of my “hidden life” with Jesus. In the eyes of the world, and sometimes in my own eyes, it’s not the most spectacular of vocations.  It’s  a simple vocation without glory in this world. Deep within I know the eternal worth and value of this hidden life but I can easily forget this truth which is why  these words by Henri Nouwen on the hidden life of Jesus are a much needed reminder…

The largest part of Jesus’ life was hidden.  Jesus lived with his parents in Nazareth, “under their authority” (Luke 2:51), and there “increased in wisdom, in stature, and in favour with God and with people” (Luke 2:52).  When we think about Jesus we mostly think about his words and miracles, his passion, death, and resurrection, but we should never forget that before all of that Jesus lived a simple, hidden life in a small town, far away from all the great people, great cities, and great events.  Jesus’ hidden life is very important for our own spiritual journeys.  If we want to follow Jesus by words and deeds in the service of his Kingdom, we must first of all strive to follow Jesus in his simple, unspectacular, and very ordinary hidden life.

The world beckons us to pursue fame, glory and ”self”-fulfillment but what is God asking you to seek first? Your vocation will look different than mine but is it possible that Jesus is calling you, in your own way, to live a “simple, unspectacular and very ordinary hidden life” for the sake of His Kingdom?

There’s this young woman I know. Well, actually she’s just an acquaintance. No, she’s more than that, she’s a sister in Christ with a great love for our Lord.  I met her at the 7:00 am mass last December. Who knew that that young working adults got up at such an hour to spend time with God? Ocassionally she is the lector and I always enjoy hearing her read the Word of God. She has a peaceful, gentle voice that’s easy to listen to (that’s the speech professor side of me coming out). Anyway, she’s about to embark on an exciting journey. Her blog is called “Sister Soon.”  Her story inspires me and reminds me to pray for all who are seeking their vocation in life and to continue to pray for those who’ve found it. Click here to read more. Better read it now because by the end of August she’ll be off-line (and for very good reason). May God bless you Gina. You’ll be in my prayers.