February 15, 2008 at 12:22 am (Love, Valentine's Day)
Gotta’ confess, Scott and I usually let Valentine’s Day pass with little fanfare.
I know there are some out there who would call us “unromantic.” That’s ok. We just don’t buy into this day all that much. Honestly, I’m not much of a flowers kind of girl. I’d rather have him help me around the house (which he does all the time). It might have something to do with that “love language” thing. I don’t know. But the bottom line is this, Valentine’s Day doesn’t rank high on my ”most important days of the year list.”
I suppose Scott got off kind of easy. Then again, maybe not –candy and flowers once a year versus helping with the laundry year round?
Love truly is in the eye of the beholder. Right now I’m beholding three baskets of laundry and thinking of my beloved… Thank God for my man!
Happy Valentine’s Day Honey!
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February 13, 2008 at 10:52 pm (Dying to Self, Mother Teresa, Saints, Surrendering, sacrifice, suffering)
I’m reading Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light (edited by Brian Kolodiejchuk, M.C.).
I’m so convicted and humbled by the heart and life of this incredible woman of God. My post about what my flesh wants to give up for Lent is ridiculous in light of the life of sacrifice this woman lived. All my fleshly complaints are pitiful.
This book is full of her private writings which this humble servant requested be destroyed time and time again. I’m grateful her spiritual directors chose not to destroy them and had the wisdom to know that her writings would one day be a gift of great inspiration to the Church.
In light of her incredible humility and passion for Christ’s glory and his glory alone I have to laugh at my feeble attempts to make a record of some of my faith journey for my girls. As I read about Mother Teresa I am at once inspired to live a more holy and fully surrendered life while at the same time intimidated by her complete self-abandonment and willingness to suffer in order to live and share the gospel. If I had but an ounce of the love she has for Jesus…
My Jesus, I can only begin where I am. Take me and transform me. Give me the grace to obey your call to be holy and to love like you love.
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February 11, 2008 at 12:12 am (Lent, sacrifice)
The most asked question during the Lenten season:
So what are you giving up?Some years I’ve answered this question. Other years I’ve felt like the Holy Spirit has told me to keep it between the Lord and myself. One year it wasn’t so much a giving up as it was a “taking on” of the active pursuit of reconciliation and healing in some relationships that had become strained.I’m not sharing the things the Lord has asked me to surrender or give up this year. Let’s just say this is gonna’ be a challenging Lent, a really really challenging Lent. God must have known it was going to be hard on me because He called me to this sacrifice a few weeks ago. I guess He thought I needed a little extra time on my knees in prayer (yes, that’s how strong-willed I am).
Because I’ve had a jump start on this Lent my flesh is starting to rebel a little and I have moments when I feel a little cranky about this whole “sacrifice thing.” [Hey, for you it's only day 6, I've been at this for a few weeks!] 
The other day when someone asked me what I planned to give up here were a few of the thoughts that crossed my mind.
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Driving in the traffic caused by the slow snowbirds who’ve invaded Florida for the winter!
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Brussel sprouts (ok, I gave those up a longggggg time ago)
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Exercise!
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Planning and prepping for dinner each night (don’t mind cooking, just all the prep work)
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Folding laundry (Actually, I don’t have to give that one up, Scott folds most of the laundry in this house. Don’t ask me how I got lucky with that one. I just did.)
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Did I say exercise yet?
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Standing in line at the grocery store with all the slow snowbirds (yes, I have patience issues)
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Doing dishes, scrubbing toilets, mopping floors…Cleaning in general
I think that’s all for now. I’m feeling better now that I shared what my flesh really wants to give up.
Seriously though…
There’s great joy that comes with obedience to God’s call to sacrifice and surrender during Lent. May you know the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings as you prepare your heart during this season.
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February 9, 2008 at 9:08 pm (Lent, Surrendering, sacrifice, suffering)
Lent started on Wednesday, February 6.
For Christians who don’t observe or understand the liturgical seasons of the year Lent may seem strange or unnecessary. If you are a “Catholic-phobe” as one person I know recently described himself you may dismiss all things Catholic and even think this season is all about human effort or meaningless ritual.
How sad that some Christians write off the centuries old tradition of spending the 40 days before Easter focused more intensely on prayer, fasting and sacrificial giving. How sad that anyone would do this out of ignorance or a fear of traditions primarily practiced by Catholics.
Why is this sad to me?
It’s sad because the more I’ve embraced this season the greater is my desire to die to self year round. The more I embrace this season of sacrifice before celebrationg His resurrection, the more I appreciate the passion and intense suffering of our Lord (and I have far to go in this area of my life). And most importantly, the more I embrace this season of fasting and sacrifice the more I hunger for Jesus.
Jesus, the Word made flesh, tells us,
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled.” (Matt. 5:6)
To which I cry,
“Jesus, let me abandon all selfish desire, ambition and worldly attachments during this Lenten season so that I may be filled by you– for I hunger and thirst for you and you alone.”
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February 7, 2008 at 10:45 pm (Love, Relationships, henri nouwen)
We often confuse unconditional love with unconditional approval. God loves us without conditions but does not approve of every human behavior. God doesn’t approve of betrayal, violence, hatred, suspicion, and all other expressions of evil, because they all contradict the love God wants to instill in the human heart.
–Henri Nouwen
This reflection from the Henri Nouwen Society grabbed my attention. It’s just so true.
How often do people fall into the trap of thinking someone isn’t loving them unconditionally simply because that person disapproves of their actions?…I know I’ve done it.
Most parents will tell you that they don’t always approve of their child’s behavior but they still love them unconditionally. Interestingly those same parents very often will turn around and accuse a spouse, friend or family member of not loving them “unconditionally” because that person doesn’t agree with or approve of their own selfish actions. Why the inconsistency?
The root of this is obviously the wound of original sin. Our flesh cries out for self-justification. We want to be seen as doing the right thing. And when someone doesn’t approve of our sinful (selfish) words or deeds we often interpret that disapproval as rejection and “feel” unloved. But the reality is this: The true expression of God’s unconditional love through another person will never show approval of my sin, but will always love me the sinner. We all know there is a difference. But, when it comes to applying it to ourselves our wounded flesh can’t always make that distinction. Instead we must see with the eyes of the spirit.
So, the next time you’re “feel” unloved by someone who disagrees with you ask yourself:
What am I really seeking, their unconditional love or their unconditional approval?
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February 4, 2008 at 11:16 pm (Uncategorized)
Haven’t posted in a while.I’ve been reading and journaling a lot instead of blogging. Also working on my guitar playing. I have a deadline. I actually have plans to play in front of someone other my children and husband. I’m supposed to lead a group of women in worship music as they prepare to serve on a retreat (less than four weeks to go…my fingers are soooo sore!).
I’m reading a challenging book by Thomas Dubay called Deep Conversion, Deep Prayer. My flesh hates it but everything else in me says “amen and amen!” It’s a good primer for Lent which starts on Wednesday.
So, that’s where I’ve been. I’m sure I’ll post something more substantial soon.
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