Things that make you go Hmmmm…

Every now and then I hear something and it just makes me stop and think. A few months ago I heard this priest talking about the divorce rate and a wedding tradition in a small town in Croatia. Seems that in the small town of Kerzegovina (population 13,000) the divorce rate is very low (some claim there has never been a divorce). I haven’t checked the stats on this so I can’t confirm nor deny the accuracy of this claim.

Supposing this fact is true, one wonders what’s going on in this town. How have they kept divorce from infiltrating their community and destroying the hearts and hopes of men, women and children? There are some who believe the marriage covenant in this community is strengthened by a perspective on marriage expressed in a unique wedding tradition commonly practiced in this Catholic community.

In the small town of Herzegovina, when a Catholic couple is married, they are told:  You have found your cross. It is a cross to be loved, to be carried, a cross not to be thrown away, but to be cherished.”  

In Herzegovina, the cross represents the greatest love. During the marriage ceremony, the bride and groom place their hands together on a crucifix. Then they kiss, not each other, but the cross. The crucifix they kiss at their wedding then becomes a focal point of their home. It is a reminder that if one should abandon the other, they cannot do so without abandoning Jesus Crucified.

Ok, I have to admit, it’s not all that “romantic.” But then anyone who has been married for a while knows that contrary to our cultural traditions and stereotypes, marriage isn’t only about the romance and “feel good” stuff. No, marriage is about so much more.  

So, this tradition made me think. Instead of allowing the world to teach our children that marriage is about finding someone who makes you happy, who “completes you,” and who adores you, what if we teach them that the primary purpose in marriage (like any vocation in life) is loving and serving God by loving and serving those around you (in this case, your family). What if we focused on marriage as a means of becoming more like Jesus and committing to helping your spouse to love Jesus and others too instead of seeing it as a means of “self-fulfillment.

Instead of thinking of marriage as a “right” (i.e. my right to be happy and to not be alone, my right to fulfill my physical and emotional desires, my right to have children, my right to be loved), what if more people saw marriage as a true covenant; a covenant in which one surrenders their “rights” just like Jesus did when he came to fulfill the Father’s covenant with us. A covenant fulfilled when Jesus came to carry the cross for us.  

Again, I know this is not so “romantic” in the traditional sense of the word. But then given the statistics of marriage and divorce among Christians perhaps it’s time to redefine “true romance.” Maybe the self-serving romantic fairy tale concept of marriage we’ve been handed in our culture is one of the enemy’s greatest lies we’ve believed. 

Hmmmm…what if the covenant of marriage = carrying a cross?  I can’t help but wonder if our brothers and sisters over there in Herzegovina might not be onto something. 

*Note: A few disclaimers and qualifiers…

  1. Marriage, divorce and re-marriage are touchy subjects. Please don’t read into this any judgmental overtones. These are the musings of an a “idealist” who often has high expectations of herself and the world around her; one of my strengths and my weaknesses. That being said, this post is not a diatribe against those who find themself divorced. It’s really about the hope of what Christian marriages can become.
  2. I should also make the disclaimer that in no way am I suggesting that all of marriage is about “carrying a cross” and there is no place for “romance,” emotional and physical fulfillment, joy and contentment. I’m just suggesting the pendulum has swung too far in the direction of ”self-love” in marriage instead of an other-centered, self-giving love that Jesus calls us to show one another.

 

 

The Way of the Cross (lesson #6,241 and counting…)

You ever have one of those experiences where you go somewhere and hear a sermon or talk and you know God arranged it “just for you?” A week ago Monday I had one of those experiences.

As I went about my morning I mulled over a situation in my life that is less than appealing and I asked God “why?”  Upon further reflection, I felt like He was telling me it was one of those “crosses” that Jesus talks about in Matthew 16:24 when he says we are to “pick up our cross and follow after Him.” Now I wish I could say I reached this conclusion and found great peace of mind but that wasn’t the case. No, it was more like a sad resignation laced with some “what can I do to change this situation so that I can move past it?”

So, with this resignation I went to Mass to spend time some undistracted quiet time with Jesus. As I knelt before the cross and poured my heart out to Him, I asked Him to speak to me. And He did…through the priest and his homily.

Strange thing is, Fr. McCauley’s homily was not based on any of the scripture readings for that day.  Instead he talked about picking up our cross and following Jesus. He talked about stewing over the cross we must bear versus asking God to reveal what He wants to do within you as you pick up this cross and deny yourself (die to yourself). When he got to this point in his homily I literally looked around the room and wondered if I was the only person there. His homily had nothing to do with the gospel reading and everything to do with me (cause, afterall, it’s all about me, right :-) . Whether he realized it or not, Fr. McCauley had me pegged. I’d most definitely been “stewing” over my cross.

Here’s what he said next: 

Jesus said, ‘pick up your cross, deny yourself and come follow after to me.’ In other words, you and I must carry our cross like Jesus carried His. We must do it His way and not our own way.

It was the reminder and truth I needed to hear. It’s not enough to just pick up my cross. I must pick it up and carry it in the manner in which Jesus carried His cross.  Jesus didn’t complain as He carried his cross. He didn’t try to explain and justify Himself. He didn’t try to run and escape God’s plan. And he didn’t demand that God change his circumstances. No, instead He prayed, “not my will Lord, but yours be done.”

Ok, this is not a new “teaching” for me. In fact, it’s one of those repeat lessons. I think this is something like lesson #6, 241 in the “Way of the Cross.” Someday I might get it. Then again, maybe it’s not something you ever fully “get” until the journey is over.

Today though, moment by moment and by His grace, I will deny myself, pick up my cross and carry it like Jesus: Fully surrendered and fully trusting Father.

My Story, Part V (On discussing doctrine and “truth”)

[This is the continuation of my story about how God led me to the catholic faith. See "my story" page to catch up.] 

Before I go any further with my story I need to say something about “truth.” I know any discussion about “truth” and doctrinal differences among churches makes some Christians uneasy. I’ve heard all kinds of comments from people on this matter. Some people don’t really care about doctrinal issues or differences. Then there are those who care but would rather not discuss differences; they don’t talk about them for fear that acknowledging and discussing those differences will be divisive. Now, I do agree that discussions about doctrine can be handled without love and create division. Sadly, I’ve seen this happen many times. But I’m of the mindset that open and honest discussion that is grounded in love can be healthy and very beneficial.

True ecumenical dialogue involves identifying and discussing differences in an effort to create understanding and find common ground. You can’t find common ground if you don’t discuss the uncommon ground that exists. Ecumenism does not mean that we sweep our differences under a rug and pretend they don’t exist. Neither does ecumenism ask someone to deny, betray or hide their beliefs for the sake of some majority rule. 

On the matter of discussing “truth” one of the most common comments I’ve heard is, “no church can claim to have the truth.” Some Christians will shut down any dialogue on the matter, asserting that if a church or Christian claims to “have the truth” they are wrong and even arrogant. I can see how someone who subscribes to the doctrine of Sola Scriptura (Scripture alone) would feel this way. Afterall, based on this doctrine no church has any binding authority over Christians on the issue of truth. It’s up to each individual to determine truth for himself. However, no matter what any Christian tells me, truth does matter to them or else they wouldn’t be a Christian. Each of us choose to believe certain doctrines or “truths” about our Christian faith. In choosing to believe something, we  automatically reject other doctrines or beliefs. In doing so we declare those opposing beliefs to be false. It’s simply a  matter of logic.  If you choose to attend one church because you agree with the teaching, then by virtue of this statement you are saying other churches that do not agree with your church are teaching things that are untrue.

I realize that because my story is centered on my quest to find “the truth” it may seem like I’m being divisive or critical of other Christian beliefs. This is not my intent. Nor is it my intent to be offensive. And yet, I know that the logical consequence of concluding one thing to be true is a declaration that something else is false. And, some people perceive this to be unsettling at best and “judgmental” or “prideful” at worst.    

My heart in sharing my story on this blog is three-fold: 1) to answer questions some people have asked me about my decision to be Catholic; 2) to put into writing my story so that one day my daughters have a record of the journey on which God led Scott and me; 3) to share what the Catholic faith really believes in light of the many commonly held misconceptions and misinterpretations about the Catholic Church.   

If you’re reading this story and you take offense, I am truly sorry. Obviously, by choosing the Catholic faith I am making a statement that I believe its teachings to be true. However, my belief is not a denial of the truth that does exist in the Protestant faith.  It is important to remember that we have much more in common than not. We all have a faith journey to walk; we must form our faith, live according to our conscience and go where the Lord leads.  And that is what my story is really all about.

To be continued…

My Story, Part Four

[This is the continuation of my story about how God brought me to the Catholic faith. See parts 1-3 on "My Story" page to catch up] 

Scott and I went home and took up my father’s challenge to carefully examine 2 Timothy 3:16-17, the verse I’d used as proof-text for my belief in “Scripture alone.” We were quite certain that the rest of the Bible and our interpretation of these verses would more than prove that indeed the Bible alone is the one and only authority that Christians are to follow when it comes to matters of faith and morals. But as we took a closer look at 2 Timothy 3:16 and the surrounding verses and their context we were surprised by what we found. 

In 2 Timothy 3:14-15 Paul charges Timothy to “continue in what you have learned and become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.” In verses 16 and 17 Paul comments on the Scriptures he has just referenced and says this: “All Scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness so that the man of God may thoroughly equipped for every good work.” Now I’d always been taught that these verses were evidence that Scripture alone is all we need and are to rely upon as Christians. However, the closer Scott and I looked we realized that this isn’t what Paul was saying to Timothy. Paul was telling him to continue in what he’d learned not only from Scripture but also those from whom he learned. His comments on Scripture are asserting their authority but Paul doesn’t say they are the only authority. He says they are ‘useful for teaching, rebuking, and training in righteousness” but he doesn’t say that Scripture is the only authority on doctrines of the faith or moral issues. We realized that we’d been assigning meaning to Paul’s words that weren’t really a part of the text.  

Another realization came when we considered the context of these verses. One of the things I valued about my Protestant upbringing was that I was taught to consider the context in which Scripture was written. The only problem is I hadn’t ever really examined the context of these verses. If you consider the context, then you must consider the fact that when Paul speaks of Scripture he must be referring to what we now call the Old Testament because at the time he wrote this letter these were the only Scriptures that existed. The New Testament was not canonized and officially considered Scripture until the latter part of the 4th century. So if verses 16 and 17 were teaching that Scripture alone is our only authority then the verses actually prove that the Old Testament alone is our one and only authority. We had to ask ourselves, was Paul really teaching the doctrine of “Scripture Alone” in this text? If so, then we can only conclude from the historical context that the Old Testament is our only authority. Scott and I both agreed that this interpretation seemed unreasonable.  

So, we set out to find other verses in the Bible that taught “Scripture Alone.” But it was a long and fruitless search because after several nights of studying Scripture we could find no explicit teaching that the Bible alone is the believer’s final and only authority on doctrines of faith and moral issues.  We found this hard to believe. For years we’d judged others for holding onto “unscriptural” beliefs that were “man-made” traditions because we believed that “if it wasn’t in the Bible it wasn’t true or Biblical.”  And yet we were hard pressed to find any Biblical support for the doctrine of “Scripture Alone.” There’s irony for you, the very doctrine that teaches all doctrine must be found in Scripture is not even in Scripture. Using the logic skills God gave me I could only conclude that the doctrine of Sola Scriptura (Scripture Alone) is by its own definition “unbiblical” because it’s not taught in Scripture. A scary conclusion, I know, but a logical one none-the-less. 

Needless to say this took a while to absorb and sink in. A part of me wanted to argue that it really doesn’t matter if the doctrine of Sola Scriptura is taught in Scripture. Scripture is all we have and so it still makes sense that we would rely only on Scripture as our authority. What else would/could we rely upon?  But I knew that this “argument’ was not rationale nor valid.  That’s when we started to examine some verses in the Bible that I swear I’d never seen before. 

In 2 Thessalonians 2:15 Paul tells the church of the Thessalonians “So, then brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed on to you whether by word or mouth or by letter.” In these verses Paul is telling the church to hold to teachings “taught by mouth.” In other words he tells them to hold to “oral teachings” and not just the written word. What’s interesting is the word “teaching” is also inter-changeable with the word tradition. Could Paul be telling the church to hold to “oral tradition?”  Scott and I had never read this verse before. We’d always believed that we’re not to hold to “tradition” but to Scripture alone. We believed that Jesus gave us the written word as the foundation of truth for all Christians. Then we read something that Paul wrote in 1st Timothy 3:14-15, “Although I hope to come to you soon, I am writing you these instructions so that, if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.” Hmmm. Another verse I’d never seen. Paul calls “the church,” not Scripture, the pillar and foundation of truth. We would eventually come back to study this verse in greater depth but suffice it to say we were surprised that Paul would refer to the church as the pillar and foundation of truth.  

We continued to “stumble” upon verses that seemed “new” to us. In 2nd Timothy 1:13-14 Paul tells Timothy “What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus. Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you-guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.” Ok, once again Paul tells the Lord’s disciple to guard what he has heard, not just what has been written down. If Sola Scriptura was God’ plan for leading us into all truth then why is Paul encouraging adherence to oral teaching? Why does Paul refer to the church as the pillar and foundation of truth and not Scripture alone? These were questions we’d never asked ourselves and questions we’d never heard addressed by the Bible teachers we’d listened to over the years. But they were valid questions.  

These verses led us to study and pray even more and brought us back to a question my father asked us when discussing the doctrine of Scripture Alone: “According to whose interpretation?”  Interpretation…this word began to challenge my thinking. Until I re-examined 2 Timothy 3:16-17, I never considered that my interpretation of that Scripture could be wrong. Actually, I never really gave much thought to the idea that the Bible has to be interpreted. While it is true that portions of the Bible help to interpret or shed light on other portions of Scripture, the Bible does not “interpret” itself. Humans must read the Bible and determine what it means. This happens every Sunday morning in thousands of churches across the world. The Bible is read and a man or a woman stands up and tells his or her congregation what it means. Now I realized that were churches who taught different doctrines than the reformed doctrines I held as truth but I just assumed that the reformed doctrine was truth and that the other churches were wrong (yes, I know, there goes that arrogant pride again). Churches on every street corner teach their own interpretation of Scripture. In most of these churches the pastors have studied Scripture, prayed for the Holy Spirit to guide them and they’ve come up with a sermon that they teach as “truth.” For the first time in my life I considered that there’s something not quite right about this. Everyone is reading the same Bible (for the most part) and yet there are so many denominations coming up with different and often competing doctrines on faith and beliefs about morality. And they all claim the Holy Spirit is leading them and they are teaching the truth.  

As we thought more about biblical interpretation we realized that this just doesn’t happen in the local church; it happens at home when individuals go and study the Word for themselves. They read the Word, ask the Holy Spirit to lead them and then interpret what they’ve read coming up with what they believe to be “the truth.”  But often it is a different truth than their neighbor who has done the exact same thing (read, prayed and asked the Holy Spirit to lead them). This is the product of the doctrine of Sola Scripture. Because there is no binding authority on the conscious of the believer it is up to each individual to read Scripture and determine what it means (or what truth is) based on what they think the Holy Spirit is telling them. And under the doctrine of Sola Scriptura, no one has the authority to tell anyone else their interpretation or their “truth” is in accurate. After all, who am I to say that the Holy Spirit didn’t lead you to your conclusions about the Bible?  This realization began to really weigh on my heart. Under the doctrine of Sola Scriptura truth becomes relative. The interpretation of the Bible, when it comes to doctrine and morality, is up for grabs.   The more we considered this the more we realized that this was at the heart problem with all the divisions in the Body of Christ. And we began to ask ourselves, “Did God intend for each individual to sit down with their Bible and under the guidance of the Holy Spirit determine what is and isn’t truth?” If so, then why weren’t we all coming up with the same truth?  And by what authority can someone claim they have the truth? We’re all claiming the Bible as our authority and yet we’re all coming to different conclusions. And we’re claiming the Holy Spirit has led us to these conclusions. But we had to ask ourselves, would the Holy Spirit lead one church to teach that homosexuality is acceptable and another to condemn it? Would God lead one church to teach that you don’t need to be baptized and another to teach you must be baptized?  The number of issues and varying interpretations are endless. Surely God did not intend for the Body of Christ to be so divided on matters of faith and morality. Especially when time and time again Scripture warns us against “false doctrines” and the importance of “sound doctrine” (See 1st  Timothy 1:3, 6:3; Titus 1:9-11, 2:1; 2 Peter 2:1; Jude 1:19). Clearly doctrinal truth mattered to the early church and the Apostles.  

At this point I remember feeling like my world had been turned upside-down. The bedrock doctrine of the Protestant faith, Sola Scriptura, had begun to crumble under our feet. It was neither logical, Biblical nor defensible. This was something I suspect my father already knew when he challenged us to really examine this doctrine more closely. He was only gracious enough to let us figure it out on our own. But this realization about Sola Scriptura only brought more questions to mind, like, “if we’ve been wrong about this doctrine, what else have we been wrong about?” This led us to begin an intense time of study and prayer during which God decided to answer that question over and over again. Indeed, there had been plenty that Scott and I had been wrong about (it was like one long continual lesson in humility). 

During the next seven months God rocked our “spiritual boat;” all the while challenging us to get out of the boat, take a step of faith and follow Him no matter where it might lead.  

To be continued…