June

The girls had their first banana split ever.

The girls had their first banana split--anything having to do with ice cream is a milestone :-)

June is over.

Hard to believe we’re half way through 2009.

This June was a month of firsts. See for yourself…

Ella lost her first tooth

Ella lost her first tooth

 

 

 

 

The girls swam their first swim meet

They swam in their first swim meet

They got their first athletic awards ever (a big feat seeing as they have my genes)

They even won their first athletic awards (a big feat seeing as they have my non-athletic genes)

Ella caught her first sand flea (too bad she didn't catch her first snook with that sand flea so I could cook my first snook. Of course it took her dad a long time to land his first snook so no pressure, right Ella)

Ella caught her first sand flea. Too bad she didn't catch her first snook with that sand flea so I could cook my first snook. Of course it took her dad a long time to land his first snook so no pressure, right Ella.

We took our friend Joe out for his first taste of Coldstone Ice Cream. Mmmmmm.

We took our friend Joe out for his first taste of Coldstone Ice Cream. Yes, I know, more ice cream.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
My mom, the family expert on body surfing, gave the girls their first official body surfing lesson.

My mom, the family expert on body surfing, gave the girls their first official body surfing lesson.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Grandma and and Claire riding their first waves of the summer

Grandma and and Claire riding their first waves of the summer

 
 

Freedom

Secular freedom is having to do what we want to do. Religious freedom is wanting to do what we have to do.

              Richard Rohr

 

Because we’re about to celebrate the 4th of July and our secular freedom I thought I’d post this quote. I could say a lot about its meaning but for now…you can just think about it.

Right-click here to download pictures. To help protect your privacy, Outlook prevented automatic download of this picture from the Internet.
Right-click here to download pictures. To help protect your privacy, Outlook prevented automatic download of this picture from the Internet.

Do I really believe?

…nothing happens in this world but by the order of God, or at least by His divine permission. All He wills or permits turns infallibly to the advantage of submissive and resigned souls. Even that which upsets our spiritual plans turns into something which is better for us. (Fr. Jean-Pierre De Caussade)

If I really believed this…

…I’d complain less about my circumstances

…I wouldn’t worry nearly as much about what comes next in life

….I’d spend less time placing hope in my idols and illusions and more time resting in the peace that comes with trusting our sovereign and holy God

…I’d trust that He really is working all things together for my eternal good and His eternal glory

Once again I pray… Lord I believe, now help me in my unbelief.

The public and the private

April and May seem like a blur. We’ve been busy around here and that explains, in part, why I haven’t been posting. However, I must admit that even when I could’ve taken the time, I haven’t felt the inclination to write. Instead I’ve been reading and journaling a lot. It seems I do this periodically; I abandon the blogging world and keep my thoughts to the private pages of my journal.

I came across something while reading the writings of Mother Teresa that gave some measure of meaning to my periodic absence from the blogging world.  While talking with a fellow sister about the “inspiration” behind the initial call to serve the poor of Calcutta, Mother Teresa said this: …it is very difficult to explain…When you make it public it loses its sanctity.

That last sentence says so much. There is line to be drawn between being “transparent” in an effort to share your thoughts or parts of your life to minister, teach or connect with another and holding close to the vest those things which God has spoken to your heart for the sake of your piety journey and relationship with him. When guided by the Holy Spirit, the former can be a powerful lever in the life of another. But like Mother Teresa says, the latter, when made public, seems to lose its sanctity.

That quote seems fitting coming from her. Despite all the publicity she received she was a very private person.  She often requested of those with whom she regularly corresponded to get rid of her letters. She was a humble woman who probably never imagined her simple letters and words would be used by God to inspire others after her death.

Now, to be sure, nothing in my life even remotely resembles the inspiration or call that Mother Teresa received but I can identify with her words. Writing can be therapeutic for me but not everything ought to be written about. There are seasons for sharing one’s story or what God is teaching you. But, not every story or lesson is meant to be shared. We live in a world that let’s it all hang out, where the line between what is public and private is easily blurred. But the line does exist. And that line should protect the sanctity of what we privately hold sacred.

 

Good Friday and God’s Family

It’s Good Friday. I’ve made an effort to keep this day simple. Tonight I’ll go to church for the Stations of the Cross but today I’ve left plenty of time for reading, reflection, prayer and time to just enjoy the girls. I started thinking about how busy life gets and how it’s easy to miss those simple moments, like when Claire just laughs and laughs over the silliest thing. She has a great laugh. And Ella, well, she can make you smile with just one of her goofy looks. I don’t want to miss those moments. I want to slow down and enjoy them as much as possible.

Today we recognize the anniversary of Jesus’ suffering and death on the cross. As I’ve spent time reflecting on the signficance of this day and enjoying my girls I’ve been thinking of Mary, Jesus’ mother.  I bet she would have given anything for another day with Jesus. Another day to hold her son, to laugh with him, to recall childhood memories. I bet she knew each and every one of Jesus’ expressions of joy, sorrow and pain. I bet she knew his sense of humor and could predict the things that would make him laugh. Moms just know those things about their kids. It’s how we’re wired. Because we’re wired that way, I can’t even begin to imagine the depth of her agony and sorrow as she watched her son suffer unjustly.

I’ve been thinking about Mary a lot today. I know some of my readers won’t get this. They’ll  think I’m missing the gospel message by focusing on Jesus’ mom. If you’re one of those hang with me and read on.

You see, the message of the cross is one of love and sacrifice. It’s about Jesus’ love and sacrifice. And where do you think he learned how to love and sacrifice? Yes, from his Heavenly Father but also from his mother. She was the first Christian. The first human to carry Christ in her heart and in her body. She sacrificed a great deal when she said yes to God’s call to carry the Messiah in her womb. And if you’re a mom then you know she sacrificed everything as she watched her son die. Any of the moms I know would have jumped up on the cross and taken their child’s place in a heartbeat. Don’t think for a moment that Mary didn’t want to do the same.

Family. It’s everything. God is all about family. Hence, God THE FATHER, and God THE SON. But a family is incomplete without a mother. God knows this and He did not leave us without a mother.

Here’s the simple but beautiful logic. Jesus was part of a family. He had a Father and a mother.  We (you and me) have been adopted into God’s family. We’re a  part of Christ’s family. He is our brother which means…you guessed it… Mary is our mother. She’s our spiritual mother. In case you have any doubt read Revelation chapter 12 which tells us that those who keep his commands are her offspring (Rev. 12:17). And, think about one of the last things Jesus did on the cross. He gave his mother to John. Read the early church fathers and it’s clear that the early church understood this gesture to mean that Jesus was giving his mother to all of us.

You may be thinking that this doesn’t make a bit a difference but I assure you it does. God, in his wisdom, knew that we needed a mother, a mother who knew what it meant to sacrifice for her child(ren). A mother who would say yes to God. A mother who would allow God’s plan to unfold no matter how painful it might be for her.  You see she could have intervened and tried to stop Christ’s crucifixion but instead she allowed the son she birthed to be sacrificed so that her other children, you and me, His his brothers and sisters, could be saved. Don’t you get it? This woman, who was full of grace, sacrificed what was most precious to her heart for us, for God’s family.

This is a part of the message of the cross, sacrifice expressed through the love of a mother. And today, as I enjoy my little girls I’m so grateful for the sacrificial love of Mary. She is a mother who knows the sorrow of losing a child. And I can testify to having cried out for her prayers when I lost a little one I desperately longed to hold.  She is a woman who knows what it is to say yes to God when His will seemed impossible. I’ve asked her to pray for me as I’ve struggled to accept what has seemed impossible in my own life. She is in heaven and she cares about us.

Forget about your limited human understanding of time and space. Forget about the lies you’ve heard about how Catholics worship Mary. Leave behind your fears and think for a moment. If you’re a Christian, what makes you truly alive? It is your spirit. It’s the spirit of Christ in you.  So, although Mary is physically dead, she is fully alive in heaven. The same spirit of Christ that unites you and me, unites us with those who have gone before us, including Mary. This is the communion of saints that we sense between our brothers and sisters on earth. It is the same spirit, communion, that unites us with those who’ve physcially died.

To my fellow moms, you have a mom in heaven who knows your heartaches. She watched her son die on a cross. Do you not think she gets the depths of your agony as you watch your own children struggle through difficult times? Don’t you think that the woman who gave birth to a son only to watch him die on a cross for OUR salvation cares and prays for us? She has a vested interest in the well-being of Jesus’ brothers and sisters, her offspring.

For the motherless, she is your mother. For those whose moms didn’t trust in God, she is the Godly mother. For those whose mothers abused them instead of protecting them with tender love, she is the mother who knows how to love–she gave birth to Love. For those whose mothers were selfish, she is the mother who sacrificed her greatest treasure just for you.

God is all about family. He’s our Father. He’s our Brother. And, He’s given us a mother. Not so that we can worship her or make her an idol. But as a gift full of grace. Because, every family needs a mom.

Mind Reading 101

Ella has this habit of telling you what you’re thinking or feeling. Usually it’s when she knows she’s done something wrong and she’s in trouble. She’s also my “glass is half empty melancholy baby”  so her mind reading usually goes something like this…You’re thinking you don’t like me…Or….You’re thinking I’m stupid...Or…You’re thinking you’re mad at me

I’m constantly reminding her that she shouldn’t tell me or anyone else what they are thinking. Today was no exception. This morning I asked her to put some of her toys away and she gave me one of her “I’m not going to do it” looks and then she did her mind reading thing again. Our conversation went like this…

Me: Ella you can’t go outside with Claire until you put your things away.

Ella: You’re mad at me.

Me: No I’m not mad. And Ella, please don’t tell me how I feel. You don’t know what I’m feeling.

Ella: You’re thinking I’m stupid.

Me: No, I don’t think you’re stupid. And please don’t tell me what I’m thinking. You can’t read my mind.  

Ella: Mom, you love me don’t you?

Me: Yes, of course I do.

Ella: See, I can too read your mind.

 Did I mention that she’s a little too clever for her own good?  

Score one for Ella.

The Pope, The Rabbi and Condoms

I rarely post an entire article on this blog but this article is worth reading. It was brought to my attention by someone in my homeschool support group. You can click on the title below to see the original article.

The Pope, The Rabbi and Condoms

DR. LAURA SCHLESSINGER

During his recent African trip, Pope Benedict XVI said that the distribution of condoms would not resolve the AIDS problem.

The Pope has made it clear that abstinence is going to be the best way to fight AIDS. Google “Pope” and “condoms,” and you’ll never run out of reading material excoriating the man for his observation and opinion. Many health advocates have gone ballistic in their criticism of his comments. They feel it is one thing to promote abstinence as part of the Catholic religion, but that it is an entirely different thing to preach it to the world.

On a person-by-person basis, wearing a condom does, of course, offer some protection against contracting various venereal diseases and (of course) unwanted pregnancy. It is also true that condoms sometimes break, slip, or are put on incorrectly. Everything has its limitations…except abstinence.

I remember listening to a rabbi describing a situation that occurred to his kosher family. His 7 year old child was invited to a birthday party for a classmate at one of those fast-food hamburger establishments. When he came to pick up his child at the end of the party, one of the mothers — clearly annoyed — chastised him for the pain he caused his son. “All the children had hamburgers, chicken nuggets, french fries and dessert, and your little boy had to sit there and eat none of it. Imagine how terrible your son must have felt? How could you do this to him? Food is food. There is nothing sinful about food. What you are doing to him is just cruel.” Just about at the end of her tirade, his son bounded up to him, gave him a huge hug around the waist, and said “I had a great time. This was a fun party.”

The woman blanched and walked away. The rabbi followed her and gently told her the following: animals will eat whatever is around, even if it will make them unhealthy. Humans are to rise above animals and become masters of their urges. Imagine my son in a dorm room where harmful illicit drugs are being passed about. We already know that peer pressure and urges will not force him to relent and give in to the impulse. Learning at his early age to control impulse and desire is not a harmful trait — many times, it might be a life-saving one. Look at him. He enjoyed the company of your son and the rest of the children without giving up his values. He looks happy and satisfied. We really need to bring up our children to be masters of their instincts, not slaves to them, don’t you think?

The woman scowled, but listened to him.

Yes, in any one instance, a condom could protect, but in the overall scheme of humanity, why do so many people wish to push away the enormous protective power of moral values?

When the Pope suggests that human beings are best off saving their sexual passion for the stability of a covenant of marriage, he is making a statement that the act of sexuality is elevated by the context, and ultimately protects both man and woman from a myriad of hurtful consequences from venereal diseases to unwanted pregnancies (complete with abortions, abandonment, single-parenthood, and homelessness to name a few).

The naysayers all have one thing in common: they refuse to believe or accept that human beings can commit to a higher spiritual state of thought and behavior. The Pope believes in us more than that.

I am not Catholic, so this is no knee-jerk defense of my spiritual leader. The truth is that he is simply correct and too many people don’t want to hear it, because they want to live lives unfettered by rules. It is sad that they don’t realize that this makes them a slave to animal impulse versus a master of human potential.

The point Schlessinger makes is significant. It can be applied to all areas of our lives. Are we like animals, slaves to our impulses, fleshly cravings and appetites. Or, are we something more, created to be more–a people created in the image God and called to be slaves to Him and His righteousness?

So, what enslaves you? Are you a slave to people, your need to please others, your need for their respect and recognition. Or perhaps you’re a slave to money or to your appetite for sex, food or drink? The list of masters we may choose to serve is endless…St. Paul has this to say about our choice:

What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! Don’t you know that when offer yourselves to someone (something) to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to one you obey–whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads righteousness? (Romans 6: 15-16)  

My prayer for today: Lord, by your grace, help me to be a slave to the obedience that comes by faith and leads to righteousness. Amen

Living with Superman

j0433191

Tuesday Morning: While driving to Mass, Claire is quizzing Ella on some spelling words. Ella is doing well but then comes the first mistake and I wait for her typical response… I’m just stupid. I can’t do anything right. This  leads to a conversation about how we don’t have to do everything perfectly.

Me: You Know Ella, we don’t have to do everything perfectly. In fact, everybody makes mistakes.

Ella: (In her most “matter of fact” voice) That’s not true Mom.  Dad doesn’t make mistakes!

[Had I been eating something at the time I would have choked on my food. Good thing for that hour long fast before Mass. ;-) ]

Wednesday Afternoon:  Driving to my parents house, watching an educational video produced by the  Discovery Channel.

Claire: Mom, what channel number is the Discovery Channel?

Me: I don’t know Claire.

Ella: Hey Claire, we’ll just ask Dad.

Claire: Yeah, I’ll ask Dad. Dad knows everything.

[This time I almost choked on a sip of my soda... :-) ]

Thursday Evening: Mr. Jim, a family friend, is over for dinner.  Mr. Jim happens to exercise at the same Wellness Center as we do.

Claire: Hey Mr. Jim, did you know my daddy is the strongest man?

Mr. Jim: Yes, he’s very strong. Did you know he’s so strong they had to order more weights for him to lift at the gym?

[ Good thing I was holding my wine glass with two hands. I almost dropped it on the spot.]

Yep, that’s my husband, their daddy…

He makes no mistakes.

He knows everything.

And, he’s soooooo strong….

Ok, I get that they’re 100% Daddy’s Girls but…

Would someone please hand me the kryptonite now? :-)

Clearly Ambiguous

I came across this quote by Henri Nouwen the other day. I could relate to his thoughts.

   

Our hearts and minds desire clarity. We like to have a clear picture of a situation, a clear view of how things fit together, and clear insight into our own and the world’s problems. But just as in nature colors and shapes mingle without clear-cut distinctions, human life doesn’t offer the clarity we are looking for. The borders between love and hate, evil and good, beauty and ugliness, heroism and cowardice, care and neglect, guilt and blamelessness are mostly vague, ambiguous, and hard to discern.

 

I happen to be one of those people who likes clarity. On the one hand I’m a bit of an idealist and a dreamer. I desire things to look the way I dream they “should” be according to my ideals. On the other hand I like logic. I want things to “make sense.” If you’re going to give me an argument for something it should be logical and you should offer specific evidence. Neither of these ways of thinking make living with ambiguity easy. And if there is one thing clear about the realities of life it’s that more often than not they’re ambiguous. I know this is where my faith must come in–faith in something bigger than my personal ideals and thought processes.

 

Funny thing is, there are some ambiguities, or mysteries, if you will, that I have no problem living with — the mystery of Christ’s real presence in the Eucharist, the Trinity, how God could protect His church and Truth through fallible human beings, or the mystery of the Communion of Saints. Even after examining these and finding reasonable evidence for believing in these teachings there was still a certain amount of ambiguity or mystery to accept because these gifts from God are so far beyond my ability to reason and explain. And yet, for some reason these are things with which I do not struggle. 

 

It would seem that if my faith can accept these mysteries I should be able to accept the smaller ambiguities in my life. But instead, I want to know, understand, explain and define. I have questions and I want answers. This can drive those close to me crazy (sorry Scott). These questions without answers can drive me crazy too. Which is probably why I posted this not long ago.

 

In Letters to a Young Poet, Rainer Maria Rilke gives some advice I need take:

 

Do not now seek answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them…the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer…take whatever comes with great trust.

 

Life is clearly ambiguous. I need to learn to live everything and take whatever comes with great trust.  I need to keep that in the forefront of my mind. Perhaps I should tattoo it on my hand. Better yet, I’ll  have my friend, Tina, inscribe it one of these.

 

My prayer today:  Lord, help me to take whatever comes with great trust.

 

Ella’s Bottom Line

 ella-and-mom1

That’s me with my Ella. Not only does she look more like me than Scott but my parents tell me she’s just like I was at her age, feisty and unafraid to express herself.  Yesterday she gave more evidence that indeed she is my offspring.  Last night we celebrated my dad’s birthday here at the house. While my mom cut the chocolate torte (one of my Dad’s favorite desserts) Ella begged for a big piece.  The following scene ensued:

Ella: Mom I want a huge piece

Me: Ella, this torte is really rich and sweet, you won’t be able to finish a big piece.

Ella: But I want a big piece. (Her sweet tooth is more evidence she’s from my gene pool.)

Me: Yes, I know. But you’re not getting a big piece.

Ella: But Mom… (stopped mid-sentence by one of those serious “mom looks” from me)

Me: Ella you can have a small piece or nothing at all and that’s the bottom line.

Ella: (With a very serious look on her face) That’s not the bottom line.

Me: (laughing) Ella, do you even know what “the bottom line” means?

Ella: (arms across her chest, feet firmly planted and in a very deliberate manner) Yes, Mom. It’s at the bottom and it’s a line!

That’s my Ella.  Gotta’ love her logic. Wish me luck when she turns 13!

« Previous entries Next Page » Next Page »